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Stepping Stones Counseling Center Past Articles

Some tips for divorced grandparents
by Peggy O'Crowley

  • Each grandchild will experience your divorce differently -- depending on their age, how near they live and how close a relationship they have with you. Don't be surprised if they become upset; you are the foundation of the family. Reassure them that you and your soon-to-be-ex will still be a part of their lives.

  • Try to maintain a good relationship with your children in order to keep contact with your grandchildren. Don't badmouth your ex-spouse. Try to work out family differences without forming alliances that can keep you or your ex-spouse from seeing the grandchildren.

  • If you are dating or have remarried, be cautious about how to introduce this new person in your life to your grandchildren. Don't try to force intimacy too fast; it can take up to seven years before a new spouse is completely accepted by children. And remember that grandchildren want you to act like a grandparent, not a suddenly single swinger.

  • When deciding what to call a new step-grandparent, it's wise to bow to the wishes of the biological grandparent, unless they are unreasonable. The step-grandparent doesn't get to be called Grandma if that's the name the original grandma has.

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